The Pawson's Thanksgiving Call

Sistah! Bress Gawd! Thot I'd drap in jes' er while,
See ef yo's er gittin' 'long de besses kine er style,
Kose it's kine er early in de mawnin' fo' to call.
Beddah make it early, den to make it not at tall.

"Well, sah, look heah Eldah! Lawd er mussy! Am dis you?
Lan' sakes fo' to goodness! How yo' cum on? How yo' do?
Jes' er fixin' breckfess' wider little chicken stew.
No use tawkin' Eldah, yo' mus' sot down wid de few."

Look heah, Sistah Tootsy! I hain't hongry, not at tall;
I'd be glad to sot an' ax de bressin's fo' yo' all.
Keep erway yo' anger, wid de res' I'll take er seat;
Take er few dem biskitts, little chicken fo' er treat.

Bet I'll hah no 'fusein' I woan' lissen now to dat;
Sot down on dat sofa, res' yo' coat an' res' yo' hat.
'Membah when yo's drappin' 'neef ol' Sistah Tootsy's roof,
Yo' mus' take ub sumfiin! Heah me? Bet I'se tellin' troof!

Look heah Wash'ton Rastus! let dat chicken, sah! alone.
Eldah, fo' to goodness! dat chile am de debbil's own.
Fus' he's in de chicken, den de nex' he's in de jam
Dat's er pow'ful weakness nearly all de race ub Ham.

Walk out, Eldah Legbowl. See heah, chillun, stop yo' fuss!
Fightin' an' er scramlin' an' er kickin' sech er muss!
Sot heah, Eldah Legbowl, whah de chicken's easy reach.
Lawd sakes! Eldah Legbowl, how I loves to heah yo' preach.

Say grace fo' us, Eldah, I'll sot down sah, aftah while,
Kaze I wan' to serve yo' in de besses' kine o' style.
He'p yo'se'f, mah bruddah, dah to all yo' see in sight.
Fill up, Eldah Legbowl, doan' yo' now be eatin' light.

Lissen, Heabenly Foddah, all mah prayahs yo's answered sho'!
Ebbery bressed word sah, in Yo' Bible all am so.
Fix so de pawson will hah allus now an' den
Sech ez am befo' me hyah dis mawnin' sah! Amen!
Cum on Sistah Tootsy, wid de chicken—I is dun!
Umph! dey's so persoovyus, 'pears dat I kin eat er tun.
Whee! Whut am dem chittlins dat am fryin' sech er rate?
Am it? Lawd sakes, honey, let yo' pawson fix his plate!

Eat sum mo' dat chicken, Eldah; dey's mo' in de pot.
Plenty dah er stewin' an' er jumpin' sizzlin' hot.
Doan' yo' see dat possum dat's er dreamin' over dah?
Possum! Whut's dat, sistah? See er possum over whah?

Look hyah, dat. hain't possum, am it? Well sah! I be Jim!
Kyarve me sum his side meat an' de fus' an' secun' lim.
I'se chucked full already, but I mus' make room fo' dat.
Dat's whut makes yo' Pawson look so pussy, big an' fat!

See hyah, Sistah Tootsy, now! tell yo' yo' woan do.
Put yo' down mah prayer book ez er sistah sho' am true.
Kose I wasn't hongry! Thowt I'd take er little bite.
Sho' mah frenly spirit. Now good sistah, hain't dat right?

I jes' feel ez thankful, sistah, fo' dem few bites way I feel;
I jes' feel ez thankful's ef I'd eat er whole squah meal.
E'cuse me, Sistah Tootsy, kaze I mus' be gittin' 'long.
Gum tonight to meetin'! Dey's kerleckshun aftah song.