Uncle Esau's Courtin'

Whut's dat chile, whut's dat yo' ax me?
Tell yo' how I ustah court?
Well sah, ha! ha! dat doan' beet me,
Yo' wan' make out me some sport?

Did yo' heah dat chile, Mahlissy?
Why he's ole up in de head.
Hain't dry 'hine de yeahs an' thinkin'
About courtin' lak ole Ned.

Mus' I tell him? Mus' I Lissy?
Now doan blush behine de yeah.
Look out koch hole dah ub Peeno
Fo' he fills off ub dat cheer.

Well now chile since yo hab ax me,
Fo' to 'late sum ub mah pranks,
Dat Ise currin' and a kyahvin
When Ise in de courtin' ranks.

Take dat bunk and go a sotin'
An' de ole man'll tell to yo'
Sum de things when yo git oldah
Ef yo kyah why yo' kin do.

Well, de old man when's he's soople
In de jints an' doodin' roun',
Wuz ez good at spahkin' ladies
Ez dey's to be 'roun' er foun'.

Mah ole lady dah kin tell yo'
Dat Ise jes right up to snuff
When I stepp'd out dahkies pinted
Sayin' he am jes de stuff.

I wuz dis hyar kind er pussons
Dat wuz high strung tarr'ble proud;
Allus woh de bes' ub toggins
Dat wuz 'spensib mighty loud.

But to make de story shordah
We'll tawk 'bout jes' 'Liss an' I,
Son, de ole lady's a blushin'
An' a tryin' to ax sort shy.

Fus' time dat I met Mahlissy
'Twuz wan mansahpayshun day.
Oh, my, but she wux den, sonnie,
Awful vain an' flouncin' gay.

She's jes crazy fo' to meet me
Kaze Ise togg'd up lookin' slick.
Out ub all de young dudds dah, sah,
I kood tell dat Ise her pick.

Wif Malissy, ha! ha! sonnie,
'Twuz a case ub lub fus' sight.
Now, 'Liss, no use yo eyes rollin',
Fo' yo' know dat I is right.

She wuz twis'in' an' a tarnin'
An' a lif'n up her trail,
Thowin, dem twinklin' eyes up at me
An' jes struttin' lak a quail.

Den she'd primp her mouf, go pullin'
At her frizzus an' jes grin,
An' her ebry moob jes' tole me
Dat wif her I sho' could win.

Nebah 'gin de walls ub college
Did I ebah rub mah head,
But when spahkin ladies bet I
Undahstood all dat dey said.

Las' I got on her to callin',
Wan' to see me ebry night.
When I tole her 'bout sum mo gals.
Why de ole gal wan' to fight.

"Look hyeah, Pedro, quit dat lyin',
An' yo' pussyfyin' 'sults;
Ef yo doan' yo'll git dis flat iron
Wif de mos' dizzastrus r'sults."

Ha! ha! whut's de mattah, 'Lissy?
Hain't de old man tellin' troof?
Way yo' bilin' an' a stewin'
Fum de hut wood raze de roof.

Go on wif dat irenin', 'Lissy
Let me an' de boy 'lone tawk.
We doan' wan' yo' in a puttin'
Make ah conbahsayshun bawk.

Sumtimes when I'd go to see her,
Long time since I las' had call'
She'd jes' throw her arms aroun' me
An' jes' bellah, cry an' ball.

"Gimme dat dah pokah, Sukie,
Ise dun stan'd dis long er nuff.
Now ole man, ef yo' doan' 'klood dat
Ise gwine treet yo' mighty ruff.

"Oh, shet up ahout de Gospul
An' de ligyun dat Ise got;
Ef I loose dis I kin git mo'
Out de free salbayshun pot.

"Yo' am 'nuff to make Br'e'r Gabriel
Drap his hawn an' cuss a tune,
Let 'lone me, Mahlissy Pedro,
A poh sinnin' hep'less coon.

"Kose I shout when I git happy,
Feels de Lawd in eb'ry bone,
Dat's no sign dat I woan' swot yo'
When yo' all woan' lemme 'lone.

'Ef you'd bring back dem dah spackle
Legged chickens dat yo' stole,
In de Lam's blud dey might be chance
Fo' yo' soul to be washed whole."

Neb mine, yo' he'p eat dem chickens.
All I got's de fus' drum stick.
Wooden got dat if I haden'
Used de slight han' 'formance trick.

"Well, yo' hain't gwine git no chicken
Fo' yo' suppah hyeah dis night.
Yo' ole stummick kin jes tinkah
Clah till cummin' ub daylight."

Oh, now 'Lissy, Ise jes funnin'
Yo' gits mad' fly up two quick's
Pussun duz a little jokin'
Yo' fly up all out ub fix.

"Neb mine dat dah chicken, Pedro
Dis night yo' hain' gwine to tas'e,
So dey's no use skussin' fuddah,
All yo' wurds dey am a waste.

Now, Malissy, yo' knows, honey,
Indigesshun dat I'se got,
An' de' Lawd in Heben knows it's
Only thing wood hep dat spot.

"Go to bed fo Lawd sake, ole man,
Chickens am a crow'n fo' day;
Yo' might beg fum now 'till dooms day,
Wooden' change whut Ise dun say."